Hmm... Yes, once again it has been quite a while!!! But this time, it has been several months. So much has changed since August. That is for sure.
Thank you to all of you who were praying for a job for me. God has more than abundantly provided in that department. Drum role please... I started working as the Forum Volunteer Coordinator at the European Leadership Forum, which is a part of the Communication Institute in Lisle, IL, about seven weeks ago. It is the absolute perfect job. I still can't believe that God put me here or that this kind of a job even exists. I'll write more about the Forum on another day, though. I just wanted to mention that answer to prayer really quick.
In these past months, I have been asking myself a lot of "big questions", like "why am I here?", "what am I supposed to be doing?", etc. These past eleven months have been tough spiritually - really spiritually. I have always "felt" God's presence very close around me, especially in difficult times. When I would become aware of my own weakness, I felt God's strength shine through me so clearly. I would fall and He was right there to pick me up. Since last December, it's been different. I have not "felt" Him in the same way. I long for the days where I could just approach each day with a certain lightness of step and heart.
So many people have surrounded me with their prayers and comfort, for which I am so grateful and that has just been absolutely invaluable. Even, though I do not see God reaching in directly and pulling me out, I have learned to hold on to His promises and stumbling along the path of "...walking by faith and not by sight" as the Gettys sing. God has not abandoned me. His purposes for me are good, even though Satan wants me to believe the exact opposite. And he tries very hard to persuade me of this.
Through these past 11 months, it has become evident to me how important the local church is. God has mostly used His people to speak peace and truth into my life. I have learned through a lot of this that it is God who is holding on to me and not the other way around. He is a covenant God and He has not only made an everlasting covenant with me, but He is holding up His end of the deal AND MINE! ... because I can't. Thank goodness for His grace. Wow, how gracious is that!
I remember sitting in one of my first Intro to Philosophy classes freshmen year and my professor talking about philosophy as an academic discipline. He talked about how Christians often felt very hesitant and resistant to this discipline as it "led people away from the Lord". He said that in all of his year as a professor, not once has he seen a student fall away from the faith without their separating themselves from the Body of Christ - the local church. So many times it has been the faith of others and their testimony to God's faithfulness that has kept me going. Apart from the vine we wither away.
Andrew has been such an incredible support to me through all this time. I am completely in awe of the wonderful man that God has given me. He has been lifting me up to the Lord and encouraging me through Scripture. The other day, he sent me this verse from Corinthians:
"For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness, has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ'."
~II Corinthians 4:6
I have to remind myself daily, especially when I feel engulfed in a cloud of darkness, that it is God can through mere speaking can bring complete light into darkness. Through Christ, He brought spiritual light into this world.
Even when my heart feels heavy and I don't feel like I can feel anything, God continues to work and care for me through His Body. It is about being faithful to Him one day at a time. He takes care of His sheep.
I also find such a tremendous amount of encouragement in the following verses in Corinthians:
Treasure in Jars of Clay
7But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12So death is at work in us, but life in you.
13Since we have(AB) the same spirit of faith according to what has been written,(AC) "I believed, and so I spoke," we also believe, and so we also speak, 14knowing that(AD) he who raised the Lord Jesus(AE) will raise us also with Jesus and(AF) bring us with you into his presence. 15For(AG) it is all for your sake, so that as(AH) grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving,(AI) to the glory of God.
16So we do not lose heart.(AJ) Though our outer self[c] is wasting away,(AK) our inner self(AL) is being renewed day by day. 17For(AM) this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18(AN) as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
Thoughts?
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