Life got a bit turbulent once again a few weeks back and thanks to several different factors, including prayer and so much support and compassion from those around me, life is beginning to look up again. It's baby steps. (one of our favorite family lines from "What About Bob?") Every day, little tiny steps and it is so easy to get discouraged when I compare myself to who I was and how I felt let's say eight or so months ago, but the fact is, I need to count every little lesson, every little step as a blessing and remember those in order to not allow myself get down. Rather I need to rejoice in the blessings that God has given me.
This past week, it became so incredibly evident once again how weak I am. Looking back, God taught me two very important lessons - lessons that I have been learning all along this past seven-month journey - that were really highlighted this past week.
The overarching theme is my weakness and God's strength through that. Now, many of you probably are thinking, well of course, God strength is made perfect in our weakness. This is true and I believed that and knew that before, but in prior experiences, His strength has been more evident. You see, many times I feel like I have hit rock bottom and I cry out to the Lord and it does not feel like He sweeps me away and carries me away to some mountain top. In fact, it feels like He doesn't answer at all or at least just hasn't answered yet.
God's strength, though, is made perfect because if I really think about it I wouldn't even be where I am now. In these past months, I have felt myself plummet so far down that I knew that I did not have the strength on my own to hold on to my faith. That's how weak and vulnerable I felt. If I try to picture this in my mind, I feel like I am drowning in a swamp. ... God has not just come down - like I really would have liked - but instead, I think that He has gotten in the swamp with me and is lifting me up from behind to make sure that I do not drown. At some point, and I do not know when that is going to be, He is going to help me get to the edge of the swamp and hoist me out. Until then, I need to remember that He is with me in the swamp and that if it weren't for Him, I would have already let go.
The other way, in which God has made my weakness so evident and yet blessed me immensely and taught me the importance of living in Christian community and being a part of the local church. I have a family here in Wheaton that lets me come over and be loved on by their four adorable kids. Not only that, but this wonderful mother, wife and friend, takes the time - the few precious minutes that she gets in a day to actually get to sit down - to talk and listen to me. God has blessed me so richly through this woman of virtue. Every time I enter that house, it is as if a sense of peace and safety just washes over me. I am so incredibly thankful for this woman of such integrity, generosity, godliness, service, selflessness and love. In so many ways, she just allows the fruits of the Spirit flow out of her. God has used her (and many others), to continue to speak truth into my life. I am so incredibly thankful for each and every one of those people.
I have said before, that every morning seems like I wake up to a war raging around me and it is a matter of fighting to just get through the day. Times of encouragement and time in the Word is strengthening. When those things begin to become sparse and my body isn't helping either... I get tired of fighting those lies that Satan seems to throw or sneak into my mind. I am weak. Very weak. I am told the truth. I tell myself that I know the truth and yet when I get weary... I cave and I would completely cave if it were not for Christ and His work through the Spirit and fellow friends.
I know that this is getting long but before I sign off, I want to share four passages of Scripture that God has really used to encourage me this past week.
The first one is John 8:31
'So Jesus said to the Jews who believed in him, "If you abide in my Word, you are ruly my disciples and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."'
I keep repeating myself, "the truth will set me free... the truth will set me free..." How true it is that we MUST ABIDE IN HIS WORD. We are so weak and we or at least I fall away so easily as these past months have more than showed.
Second, I need to keep remind myself what Satan's agenda is and what it is that God has for His children. It gets muddled so easily when Satan so sneakily twists and turns and sneaks Himself into our thoughts.
John 10:10
"The Thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I cam that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the good Shepherd. The good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep."
I have to go back to this verse over and over again... remembering that even though life is not going exactly as I would wish it to go right now that God's plan is for us to have a life of abundance - ultimately in heaven - but that life begins here on earth.
Ok, I'll spare you the last two for now. Andrew's tired and wants to go to bed. ;0)
Thanks for reading! Thanks for Praying!
Good Night world!
No comments:
Post a Comment